Conscious Cock

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Cocks come in many shapes and sizes; Big, small, thin, thick, brown, white, banana shaped, and all other possible combinations. Breasts and butts on a woman are also different; small breasts and big bums can be as good as a large bosoms and flat heinies. I’m not saying that a small cock feels similar to a large one, but the latter is not necessarily better. It’s as you have heard many times before – it’s the way it’s used that counts. And that’s where the consciousness comes into the game.

Do you love your cock? Many men don’t. Just as women measure each other’s tits and asses, men are concerned with their cocks. Many men don’t know what “normal” is, simply because they might not look at each other that often after they reach adulthood. If a man looks at another man’s cock for more than a fraction of a second, one might suspect he is gay – and most straight men don’t want to risk that. Another contributing factor could be due to porn and the unrealistic expectations that follow.

One thing that concerns a man more than the size and looks of their cock and balls, is whether it will be erect when he wants it to, or not. If it does not, most men disappear into their heads, contract and suffocate in shame, fear and performance anxiety.

The size and shape is in fact of minor importance. In Tantra, friction and erections are less of a big deal. But consciousness is! The erection is not worth much if the man lacks presence, direction and firmness. As an advanced tantric woman I can enjoy a hard and rough fuck, but first of all it is the feeling of being penetrated - to harbour a cock inside me - that is the root of the pleasure.

Less is more. Often the horniest moments occur when a man is simply relaxing inside me, just observing and being present with me, and giving me room to express myself. In Tantra we aim to do everything 20% slower than what we are used to, and the man - or masculine* should try to stay 20% less than the feminine in arousal and intensity.

Just to be very clear; when I use the term man or woman, I most often refer to the masculine and the feminine. Just bear that in mind when you continue reading.

In other words, I believe it is the responsibility of the masculine to give the feminine space to expand and express herself; to let go and become more and more horny and slutty until she begs for more cock. Sadly, many men collapse into their own horniness, running over the woman without leaving space for her to flower in her own way. After all, the feminine essence is longing to be held, cared for and nourished.

Based on these simple principles; slowing down, holding space, giving the feminine room to blossom, and not collapse into own desire -  the man will become much more conscious about how to penetrate his partner.

To add onto that, he can talk to her. The feminine is very auditive, and loves that the man takes the lead. That is the feminine essence – to be guided, because the feminine needs direction. If he can talk, guide and lead her from a safe, loving and conscious place in himself - she will surrender and give herself to him. This will not happen if she senses that he is not fully present, absent minded, unsure about what he wants etc. If he pretends to be with her, but isn’t really, she will notice it right away. There’s no use in trying to fake it.

Men who have experienced how it feels to be in the receiving end, or in their feminine, have a much clearer consciousness around what it feels like for the woman to be penetrated. A man that understands what goes on in the woman can also guide her deeper.

When I sense that kind of consciousness in a man I can relax even more, trusting that he most likely will not collapse into his instincts and need for ejaculation or become goal-orientated.

An example of an unconscious way a man uses his cock is coming home from work with a lot of stress in his body, and dumps it all on his woman by fucking her 5 minutes over the kitchen sink. He’ll experience a much wanted release on his own part, and for a while feels relaxed. In a unconscious way she may be left feeling abused and abandoned.

But what happened to the stress he brought home? Didn’t he just transfer it to her? Maybe her vagina not only receives the physical connection during sex, but also the energetic aspect. If so, she may end up storing his stress in her vagina, and because of this the vagina starts to protect itself from this, and ends up shielded and contracted.

Ejaculating men are focused on release and pleasure for themselves, and mostly concerned about getting what they want. Men with conscious cocks are concerned about how to serve their partner, with no aim or goal. There is nothing to achieve, no climax to aim for. It’s only about holding the space, physically and mentally, for the feminine to expand and explore itself. And doing that is also immensely satisfying and pleasurable for the man. For what more can a man wish for than experiencing the happy, horny woman, fully open in response to his presence?

I have been practicing almost exclusively with tantric men these last years. Having sexual interaction with non-tantric men occasionally really put these differences into perspective. In my experience the non-tantric men often want to prove something, for the woman or themselves, without tuning much into the woman.

I’m not saying that non-tantric men can’t be a good fuck. They can! But there is so much more to explore both for the man and the woman when there is a conscious cock involved. Tantra is a lot more than “just a conscious cock”, and requires a lot of practice.

Today’s women have a lot of pussy-power, and very high sexual value. In Tantra it is almost the other way around. A conscious cock in the tantric world has everything to do with what I have explained here; slowing down, having no goals, and feeling into the woman with the intention to serve her. A man with a conscious cock feels safer to me. He will not abandon me for the sake of pleasing himself.